I’m back in London. It’s a short trip. Getting shorter by the day. But I’m here. When I was getting ready to fly back to London I got nervous. I was suddenly afraid I’d get back here and things would be different. I was afraid that all those feeling I thought I had when I was here would not exist and it would be like I had imagined it all and built it all up in my head because I wanted to be happy here. I was afraid I’d not like London anymore because it didn’t live up to the wonderfulness I had attached to it.
It turns out that those little fears were unfounded. As soon as my feet were back on British soil the weight of the last year had lifted away. I was exhausted from not sleeping and the rigours of a 10 hour flight but I felt alive and ready to get back to where I belonged. I didn’t make it through passport control as smoothly as I had hoped (that’s a whole other story) but I was still calm and relaxed. Something I don’t really think I’ve felt for a year. I got on the Tube for the hour’s long journey into Bloomsbury where I am staying and it felt like I had never left.
That’s how it’s been for the past week. Like I’ve never left. The only reminder that I’ve been gone has been that I meet up with friends and we have to catch up on a year’s worth of information. Otherwise, I’m back to enjoying walking around the city, visiting my favourite spots and seeing people who make me feel at home and who have I missed.
Of course some things are different. It’s been a year. Places change, people change, life continues to go on while you are away. That’s just how it’s meant to work. I know I have changed and probably not for the better so I really didn’t expect everything to be in exactly the place I left them when I made that horrible journey back to the States. It was good to know that I hadn’t imagined the entire year and a half that I was here. It’s good to know that I truly was happy when I was in London.
One of the happy results of being back is that I have actually started writing again. It’s a slow process with lots of scattered ideas that have either floated in my head or have been collected on my computer. After not writing a word that wasn’t work related for about ten months it’s a relief to have those scattered ideas and to not be afraid to communicate them. I’ve been apprehensive about of the things going through my head since being back in the US. Incredibly, those unhappy thoughts went away as soon as the plane landed last week. So chances are there may be a few new blog posts coming up. I hope you are at half as excited as I am. 🙂